Mad Max: Fury Road - Movie Review

Who's In It?

Nicholas Hoult, Charlize Theron, and Tom Hardy


What's It About? 

Max is kidnapped by Immortan Joe and his War Boys, and must escape by running away with Imperator Furiosa, Immortan's "Breeders" - women with healthy pregnancies - and the War Boy Nux in a giant armoured oil tanker.

Any Good?

I have never been so tired or sore after a movie, Fury Road is relentless in shooting, driving, explosions, and INCREDIBLY loud music. There is maybe a 10 minute break near the end, but even that doesn't last before it's LOUD NOISES AND DEATH again, I LOVE it.

The action is non-stop, from the first 5 minutes it's immediate punch and run, with Max escaping Immortan Joe's slave base by beating his War Boys and having serious hallucinations. The soundwork was fantastic in the film and was a real part of the action, every time the war parties were on the road there was a War Boy with a giant fire-spitting guitar shredding his heart out on a giant vehicle made of a speakers fit in perfectly - Nolan needs to learn how to do loud music from this.

Immortan Joe

This film really takes advantage of its 15A rating, having serious blood and gore as well as scenes of slaves being beaten and women being drained of milk (yep, lovely) as well as naked women, I'm surprised the American film industry didn't gimp it totally to be more family friendly. 

I haven't seen the original Mad Max films in some time, but this really felt like the 80's style they were done in, as well as the original Fury Road comics and other films like Conan the Barbarian with giant mountain bases. Australian Bane is perfect as Max, and "the feminist legion" are great, and make sense dammit. I thoroughly recommend watching this in cinemas, and in isense if you can because not only is the soundtrack amazing but it uses classic 3D where things come out of the screen! 

Rating:  

Oculus - Movie Review

 Who's in it?

Brenton Thwaites, Katee Sackhoff, Rory Cochrane and Karen Gillan


What's it about?

After Tim Russell (Brenton Thwaites) is released from a psychiatric hospital, his sister Kaylie Russel (Karen Gillen) brings him to their old home to prove that the murder of their mother by their father was not of his own accord, but under the influence of an evil mirror.

Any Good?

This film is a true investment compared to The Conjuring (which I have seen it being likened to a lot today), the beginning actually had me cringing with the terrible script, bad story and Anakin Skywalker being Amy Pond with an American accent's brother. But when it gets to the mirror messing with Tim and Kaylie's heads by making them have extremely convincing flash-backs to the childhood murders and hallucinations it's truly entertaining.  

The ever incredibly beautiful Karen Gillan wasn't actually bad in this, giving a fairly alright performance and showcasing her flawless American accent by successfully acting both confidant yet afraid at the same time. Brenton Thwaites was just plain bad to begin with, but as the film went through the flashbacks he started to improve vastly. Rory Cochraine was great as the possessed Da, snapping at the annoying kids (I do NOT enjoy children - as blubbering actors especially) imprisoning the feral mother like something from Silent Hill 2. 

Listen, I know it's an evil mirror. No, no, I know it's awful at the start with Star Wars II tier acting - but seriously, just sit it out and bear with it, it honestly gets good. It's well worth a watch and is really entertaining, thought provoking and atmospheric once you slog through the tripe at the start. It also has Amy Pond, and that's a reason to pay full price to see any movie, good or bad.

Rating: 

The (sigh..) Eldest Gorgebag

The Raid 2 - Movie Review

Who's in it?

Iko Uwais, Arifin Putra and Alex Abbad


What's it about?

A day after the original Raid, Rama is offered the job of going inside for a couple of months to get in with a big crime syndicate so more corrupt cops can be brought down. Naturally he rejects, but after his brother is killed by a new crime boss on the rise he goes deep undercover to find the killer.

Any Good?

The original Raid was incredibly intense; a heart-pounder which had fights so incredible you just couldn't not watch - while The Raid 2 is brilliant, it just doesn't have that sense of urgency and inevitability the first had.

One big thing for me when hearing of this secret was Rama being the main again, not that there is anything wrong with him at all, I was just hoping for a new character to follow in the underground and I was gifted 4 just for thinking that.

Just one of these could power their own movie!

There was MASSIVE hype around Hammer Girl (above), and while she was brilliant and absolutely terrifying, I found both Baseball Bat Man and crime boss son Uco much better as characters. Baseball Bat Man was an absolute psycho, busting peoples skulls with a ball and demanding their friend give the ball back before bludgeoning them with the bat; he's like a demented version of the TF2 Scout. Uco reminded me a lot of Dominic Cooper in The Devils Double; a man who's father has a huge amount of power and they treat this like an excuse to do whatever they like. 

While I didn't have that original Raid feeling of urgency until the last 10 minutes, it was more of a well told bunch of peoples' stories that tie together, like a more directly linked and action packed version of Pulp Fiction. This sequel is more Western in it's approach to the aftermath of fighting and shooting than the first, but it does get rough near the end and all the better for it! It's a great action movie and well worth seeing as I'm seeing it again on Monday with just as much excitement as the first time!

Rating? 

The (sigh..) Eldest Gorgebag

Captain America: The Winter Soldier - Movie Review

Who's in it?

Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Anthony Mackie and Samuel L. Jackson


What's it about?

When a USB full of extremely sensitive S.H.E.I.L.D information is stolen by a legendary Red assassin, Cap and The Black Widow (for some reason) must chase him down and get it back.

Any Good?

The original Captain America just didn't interest me, it wasn't the type of Cap movie you'd expect at all with minimal actual Captain America and it was just sort of boring - nothing has changed sadly. 

A lot of the story was just invalid, one part was so useless it leaves you wondering why did they bother because they just couldn't do that(you'll know it when you see it). The big twist was much the same with it being laid out right in front of you if you look - which Mama Cherry did say to me as soon as it was over.

You can almost see the big secret..

Chris Evans proves again that he makes a much better Captain America than Johnny Storm, with Scarlett Johansson making a completely badass Black Widow, she's much cooler in this movie than the Avengers even if she didn't need to be in it. Samuel L. Jackson plays Nick Fury (the black bald S.H.E.L.D head as opposed to the comic one) or, more likely, Nick Fury is cast as Samuel,

DON'T go to see this is in 3D, it makes an already fairly dark film barely watchable and there isn't any 3D moments to justify the extra cost as is. Two big things I took from this movie is that The Vulture may be upcoming for our New Peter Parker, and even more exciting is the prospect of a DOCTOR STRANGE MOVIE! As it is a Marvel film, there is after credits footage but this time there's two, one after the title actors and a smaller one after the full credits. Better than the first, but not by much so I'd wait until it's on Netflix or to rent.

Rating:

The (sigh..) Eldest Gorgebag

47 Ronin - Teenage Movie Review

Who's in it?

Keanu Reeves, Hiroyuki Sanada, Ko Shibasaki, Rinko Kikuchi and Tadanobu Asano


What's it about?

47 Ronin is a Hollywood-ised version of one of the most famous 'revenge is best served cold stories'. It has magic, a typical unneeded romantic sub-plot and an American jammed into a film about master-less Japanese samurai in Feudal Japan, all very out of place.

Any Good?

Come with me on a trip down memory lane; in 2005 Keanu Reeves starred in a little comic book movie named Constantine, based on the Hellblazer comic printed by Vertigo. In the film, Keanu played an black haired, American, chain-smoking, suit wearing exorcist named John Constantine. The reason I bring this up is the fact that the movie Constantine was absolutely NOTHING like the blonde, Liverpudlian man dressed as a hobo from the comics. Okay, maybe the chain-smoking was right. But this film did just that again, but with a well known - and celebrated - historical story. 

This is basically Kai wearing a suit

In this Keanu plays a demon child found by a Feudal lord in a forest, who saves him from his Samurai when they try to kill him for being said demon. Naturally, as Kai grows up he's shunned by everyone but the Lord's daughter, as pretty much most rejects in Hollywood movies do. 

Among the shoe-horned in American actor and magic is the awful romantic sub-plot. The good Lord's daughter pities this mysterious outsider, and takes care of him at every chance she gets. True to form in this type of story, when her father dies she becomes a helpless mess who is to be married to Kira, her father's killer, a witch mounts her during the night for some reason that I never quite saw the merit to. Good old Hollywood, always with a forward thinking view of relationships!

The movie did have a couple redeeming factors, one of which being the awesome Rick Genest up there. In nearly all the posters of the movie, Genest is in them despite getting MAX a minute screen time with approximately 5 words sadly. 

The other is this film is BEAUTIFUL. I saw it in 3D and I felt the glasses were much to dark, so I took them off and was blown away at the colours of the Japanese landscape and scenery. For the rest of the film I only wore them when subtitles were on screen so I could read them, other than that there really wasn't much of a difference. 

I was thoroughly disappointed in this, it replaced a perfect story with stupid rewrites. It would be entertaining enough if you didn't mind an out place western actor among all Japanese actors and an abysmal romance, but sadly I just couldn't. If you're going to see this, do yourself a favour and watch it in 2D, the scenery and colours are dazzling and worth the money to see it alone. 

Rating:  

The (sigh..) Eldest Gorgebag