47 Ronin - Teenage Movie Review

Who's in it?

Keanu Reeves, Hiroyuki Sanada, Ko Shibasaki, Rinko Kikuchi and Tadanobu Asano


What's it about?

47 Ronin is a Hollywood-ised version of one of the most famous 'revenge is best served cold stories'. It has magic, a typical unneeded romantic sub-plot and an American jammed into a film about master-less Japanese samurai in Feudal Japan, all very out of place.

Any Good?

Come with me on a trip down memory lane; in 2005 Keanu Reeves starred in a little comic book movie named Constantine, based on the Hellblazer comic printed by Vertigo. In the film, Keanu played an black haired, American, chain-smoking, suit wearing exorcist named John Constantine. The reason I bring this up is the fact that the movie Constantine was absolutely NOTHING like the blonde, Liverpudlian man dressed as a hobo from the comics. Okay, maybe the chain-smoking was right. But this film did just that again, but with a well known - and celebrated - historical story. 

This is basically Kai wearing a suit

In this Keanu plays a demon child found by a Feudal lord in a forest, who saves him from his Samurai when they try to kill him for being said demon. Naturally, as Kai grows up he's shunned by everyone but the Lord's daughter, as pretty much most rejects in Hollywood movies do. 

Among the shoe-horned in American actor and magic is the awful romantic sub-plot. The good Lord's daughter pities this mysterious outsider, and takes care of him at every chance she gets. True to form in this type of story, when her father dies she becomes a helpless mess who is to be married to Kira, her father's killer, a witch mounts her during the night for some reason that I never quite saw the merit to. Good old Hollywood, always with a forward thinking view of relationships!

The movie did have a couple redeeming factors, one of which being the awesome Rick Genest up there. In nearly all the posters of the movie, Genest is in them despite getting MAX a minute screen time with approximately 5 words sadly. 

The other is this film is BEAUTIFUL. I saw it in 3D and I felt the glasses were much to dark, so I took them off and was blown away at the colours of the Japanese landscape and scenery. For the rest of the film I only wore them when subtitles were on screen so I could read them, other than that there really wasn't much of a difference. 

I was thoroughly disappointed in this, it replaced a perfect story with stupid rewrites. It would be entertaining enough if you didn't mind an out place western actor among all Japanese actors and an abysmal romance, but sadly I just couldn't. If you're going to see this, do yourself a favour and watch it in 2D, the scenery and colours are dazzling and worth the money to see it alone. 

Rating:  

The (sigh..) Eldest Gorgebag

The Chattery

We've made it, it's Friday! It's been a hard slog but we're there! 

I've just been checking over yesterday's Chattery and there's a couple of dilemmas and questions that could really do with some advice. Can you help by commenting here? 

As for today, have you a beauty question or a burning issue you think the lovely ladies might be able to help with? Maybe you'd be able to help some other gals with their questions - it'd be great to have you involved. 

For my part, following on from yesterday's #LayaPendulum Summit, I had some very interesting chats and learned that inspiration, a sense of community and all inclusiveness is key to helping every one of us. We've come up with a little plan to help get The Chattery ball rolling and encourage you ladies to get involved - keep peelers pelt next week!

But for now, any plans for the weekend? 

Things that Rustle My Jimmies

Tell the truth, you missed the Jimmies post, didn't you? OK, maybe that was just me but Holy Hell my wick has well and truly been gotten on this week. In the interest of public safety, I'm going to share with you five such Jimmie Rustling moments in the hopes that we can save a life today - prepare yo'selves: 

1. Swirled Furniture in Very Obviously Photoshopped Selfies

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2. Illegible Captchas

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3. Selfish A-Hole Parents Parking in Designated Disabled Parking Spots at School

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4. When They Leave ALL the Taps Running 

at Starbucks!!

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5. When I've Showered & Gotten into PJs only to Remember an Appointment!

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And with that order is restored, I no longer feel the need to exact vengeance - well not for at least another week anyway. 

Tell me, do you agree with these? Got any to add? 

 

The Chattery

How do, we've made it to Thursday, that's no mean feat for what's felt like the longest week in the history of weeks. 

Have you got a burning beauty dilemma, a question about a product or just looking for a little advice about life issues in general? Leave an 'oul comment below and we'll do our utmost to help you out. 

Though we're slow to take off with comments, Wednesday's Chattery attracted over 6,400 views - now that's pretty phenomenal so please don't be afraid to leap right in and get the chatting ball rolling. 

I'm off to the Laya Pendulum Summit today with my skin & blister - here's hoping it'll be a hugely inspirational day and we'll get to meet a bajillion like minded folks (no matter how much like a Swingers' Convention that sounded...)

What are you up to for the day then? 

New Bourjois Violine Hypnotique - On my Nails ALL YEAR

I make no secret of my love for the French brand Bourjois, their polishes - to me - are one of the most underrated polish lines on sale today. For years now the 1 seconde 18 holo glitter has been my go to and I never thought I'd like a polish more - then came 34 - Violine Hynotique. 

As with every polish in the 1 Seconde range, the brush is short but splays wide so that you can, if you wanted to, coat your entire nail in just one stroke - though admittedly that takes some practice. Pictured above is two coats and no topcoat to show the true shine you can achieve with this deep burgundy beaut. 

These photos don't even come close to doing the rich and luxurious metallic burgundy colour justice. Once the light catches the polish on your fingers it comes to life with the tiniest burgundy shimmer that gives depth and shine to the colour. 

In full daylight

4 Days Later

Because Christmas and the New Year didn't involve a lot more than unwrapping Quality Street, Violine Hypnotique had an easier trial than most but this (inexplicably fuzzy) pic was taken 4 days after application. On the third day, I used a coat of Sally Hansen's Insta Dri to add more shine but nonetheless this is seriously impressive. 

My mark of a winner when it comes to polish though? Three times I cleaned Violine Hypnotique off just to reapply it again instantly - that and every other nurse in A&E asking where I'd gotten it. This one's a winner, Bourjois, no doubt about it.  

You'll get Bourjois Violine Hypnotique on shelves from January 22nd but more than likely Boots will smash that date so I'm advising you keep your eyes peeled from now - it's definitely worth your while.