Transformers: Age of Extinction - Movie Review

  Who's in it?

Nicola Peltz, Kelsey Grammer, Stanley Tucci and Mark Wahlberg

What's it about?

To describe this movie as the same as Godzilla with the script of Pacific Rim and none of the fun of either is doing it a great justice...

This is one of THE worst movies I've ever seen. It's too long after 50 minutes never mind 2 hours and 27 minutes, I was going to get up and walk out more than several times. But I stayed, saying to myself "It's going to get good, it's going to be fun" but it just isn't.

Not only is it too long, it's just impossible to follow, plotwise, and that's not because it's deep or anything, it's just so terribly edited that if you look away for a second suddenly there's 3 new characters and you're witnessing one of the darkest scenes I've ever seen in film. IT MAKES NO SENSE.

While the movie stars one of my favourite new actors T.J. Miller, he plays the comic relief, he is AWFUL. I watched him in his VASTLY superior and absolutely hilarious role in Silicon Valley and he was just bad in this. Mark Wahlberg reprises his role as "What? No!" guy from The Happening and that's just being generous. The rest of the acting was just bland, too bland to even mention. (though I just did)
Transformers falls into the same pit as Godzilla, it waits until the last 10 minutes to show us what we came for, and even then it's just not that interesting. I would rather watch Pompeii again than watch this again, the only redeeming factor is John Goodman's Transformer because he's Walter from The Big Lebowski, just shooting a bigger gun. 


Rating: 

The (sigh..) Eldest Gorgebag

That Awkward Moment - Teenage Movie Review

Who's in it? 

Zac Efron, Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan and Imogen Poots What's it about? After Mikey's wife reveals she's been cheating on him with her lawyer leading to their divorce, he makes a deal/bet with his friends to stay out of relationships and build 'rosters'.

Ridiculous photoshopping!

Any Good?

This movie is a weird one, there's no doubt it's an awful film but it's for some reason watchable with all its sexism, terrible acting and unfunny jokes. That Awkward Moment just doesn't know what it is, one moment it's a 'guys' comedy and the next a romantic love story. Out of so many unfinished plots, the worst offender had to be FORGETTING THE DAMN SETUP OF THE FILM! 

*WARNING, SPOILERS!* 

I never ever do spoilers, but it's necessary just to explain this ridiculous slip-up by the film makers. Inexplicably, out of nowhere, just a little into the movie Mikey starts sleeping with his wife again, as if forgetting aaaall about the fact she CHEATED ON HIM AND DIVORCED HIM FOR ANOTHER MAN until the end of the movie when he finds his wife's lover's coat in her closet while making thanksgiving dinner in her apartment. I mean, I understand some movies leaving a plot to be tied up later, but the whole setup of the film? You can't be serious.

*SPOILERS OVER*

The jokes were tasteless (I love Bill Burr and like some of Jim Jefferies' work, so you know it's bad if I find them tasteless)and just plain awkward. The acting was stiff and wooden even from Michael B. Jordan and a lot of the movie just... happens with no good reason except for filler and none of it fits together. This isn't even a 'college movie' like The Wolf of Wall Street was, it seemed like it was made for 8 year olds until someone slapped some curses and sex on to bump it up to 15s.

This film is a mess, but for some reason it was viewable to some degree, not enjoyable, just viewable. No way in hell it's worth the price of a ticket into the cinema, or even to rent it. I'd wait until it's on Netflix or somewhere else on the Internet instead of wasting money on it.

Rating:

The (sigh..) Eldest Gorgebag