Is Tinder Ever OK When You're in a Relationship?

*dusts off Chattery header* Oohee, it's been a while, right? 

There was a chat happening in a Facebook group I'm part of today and I really, really would love to hear your thoughts on it as it seriously divided opinion. Shockingly so, I thought. 

The gist was that one of the girls saw the Tinder app on her chap's phone as he was texting. They've been living together for 2 1/2 years. Asking him about it, his response was defensive at first, but then dismissive, saying 'Sure I was just curious, all the lads have it.'

This lovely lass was asking advice as to whether she was being paranoid in telling him it wasn't acceptable behaviour in a committed relationship. Especially since she happened to find out he'd been using the app by chance, that he hadn't brought it up in conversation. 

This is where things became divided. The consensus seemed to be that something was a little hinky, with most advising that she trust her gut but surprisingly (to me at least) a lot of gals seemed of the opinion that this was perfectly acceptable, even expected in relationships nowadays. Seemly we're all visual creatures and Tinder is just a bit of fun. With some lasses even saying that they use it WITH their partners for a spot of 'harmless creeping'.

My question is thus. Is having a profile on Tinder, or any dating site for that matter, really OK when you're in a committed relationship? Of course, we're all adults and can make our own decisions about the relationships we have, no matter how fickle or virtual but would it be a deal breaker for you? I'd love to know...

Was she right to be so upset or are relationships at a point now where anything goes, social media wise? 

Let's Chat!

The Tuesday Chattery - What Phone Do You Use? Would You Recommend It?

Mawnin' All!

It's been a little while since we had a chat last and this question has come up several times in conversations and in messages so I thought I'd fling it open to the floor. 

What phone do you use? 

I'm using and LOVING the Sony Xperia Z1, have been for about 18 months now (the longest I've ever used one handset) and can't see foresee myself (touch wood) changing it anytime soon. Yep, it's an Android and, nope, I wouldn't have it any other way. Pictures are crystal clear, video is sharp and it does exactly as I want it to, when I want it to - so why change? 

Several times I've been asked would I recommend it and I would, without hesitation, when asked for an alternative though, I become unstuck. I've owned and loved all manner of phones, the HTC One stands out but 18 months is a lifetime in mobile phone evolution so help me out here: 

What phone do you use? Do you love it? Why is that? 

Let's Chat!

The Friday Chattery - What If Men & Women Can't Ever Be 'Just Friends'

It's the question that rears it head time and again, whether in a relationship and testing boundaries or just setting the world to rights with pals. 

It's also the basis for Daniel Radcliffe's new film 'What If' that Aaron is reviewing today so I thought it the ideal time to broach the subject with some chattage. 

Can men and women ever be 'just' friends or is there always something more - whether unrequited or not. 

Have you a purely platonic pal of the opposite sex? 

Let's Chat!

The Thursday Chattery - The Blogger Disclaimer Debate - Is It Advice or Advertisements?

Morning All!

Something a little bit controversial this morning, whether you're a Youtuber or a fan of beauty channels. 

I was linked to this vid during the week and it raised some really interesting debate with pals so I'd love to know your thoughts - check it out: 

Yes, that's some kick ass editing but what do we think of the underlying message? 

As a beauty blogger, when there's a PR drop for a new product you'll see it pop up everywhere and there's only so many ways to describe a mask. If you were to splice blogposts together I'm sure you'd find similar, no?

It is alleged that these gals (hands up I'm a big EssieButton fan!) were paid to feature this product yet when you watch the video each clearly state that they bought them. 

I don't value someone's opinion more or less because they parted with cash for a product but if they've been paid to feature it or even scripted in their review - yeah I want to know. 

So what do you think? Advice or Advertisement? 

Let's Chat!

The Wednesday Chattery - Is Childbirth Naturally Pain Free? SERIOUSLY?

You may have seen a couple of tweets yesterday about an Independent.ie post called '10 positives no one tells you about childbirth'. 

If not you can check it out here

I'm all about seeing the positive in everything and absolutely demystifying childbirth for first time mums and even younger girls that might be terrified at the thought. 

This article does that, sure, but it is it telling the whole truth? In my limited experience as a Mam twice over, nope. 'It doesn't have to involve pain' WHAT THE ACTUAL? If you have given birth and it didn't involve pain, please, PLEASE tell me how you did it - please!

I'm troubled too by this assertion: That complete euphoria. It's there whether you have a cesarean section or a drug-free natural birth - a complete rush and a total sense of accomplishment and pride'. 

Yes, it's wonderful when that happens but, truthfully, it doesn't always. I think I felt more of a failure as a new Mam because I didn't fall instantly and irrevocably in love, forgetting the intense labour of seconds before. I was led to believe, as expectant mothers reading this will be, that everything is roses the instant you hold your cherub for the first time. 

I'm sorry but that's not always true. Sometimes that bond takes a little longer - yes, it's unbreakable once it's made but it's not always instant, unfortunately. And that's OK.

Tell me, have you been through childbirth? Would you agree that it doesn't have to involve pain? Of course I'm not advocating the horror stories of maternity hospital waiting rooms but couldn't we stand to be a little more realistic in these articles? 

Or maybe this was your reality? 

Let's Chat!

The Tuesday Chattery - Would You Give Away Your Lotto Win?

Many of us dream of a lotto win - even if we don't play. It's quite nice to ponder exactly how you'd divvy up your ginormous win between family and friends and wistfully plan what you'd do with the undoubted millions left over. 

How many of us though would do as Irish woman, Margaret Loughrey has this weekend and give up all but €1 million of her €34 million jackpot to turn her home town of Strabane into a top class tourist destination? That's some seriously altruistic shizz right there.

With our minds on our money and our money on our minds - my question is thus: 

What would you spend 34 million squidoos on? 

Let's Chat!

The Monday Chattery - This Florida Dad Won't Face Charges For Grievous Bodily Harm - Do You Agree?

Morning, Monday? How goes it so far? 

This morning I wanted to chat about something a little more serious - the case over the weekend of the Florida Dad that beat an 18 year old to a bloody pulp but won't face charges as a result. 

The reason? He came home and found 18 year old Raymond Frolander sexually abusing his 11 year old son. Apparently the abuse had been going on for 3 years, the Dad learned afterward. Despite beating Frolander to within an inch of his life, Florida Police won't be pressing charges saying: 

“Dad was acting like a dad. I don’t see anything we should charge the dad with,” Daytona Beach Police Chief Mike Chitwood said. “You have an 18-year-old who has clearly picked his target, groomed his target and had sex with the victim multiple times.” - The Source

While the mugshot of Frolander is difficult to look at, it has to be said, had I found someone abusing either of my boys, there wouldn't be a mug shot taken - they wouldn't make it that far. 

Tell me this, do you think it's right that this Florida father won't face charges for grievous bodily harm? Or do you think he was actually pretty restrained? 

Let's Chat! 

The Thursday Chattery - Do You Dare To Bare The Hair?

Thursday, jebus you're lookin' well!

Today I was thinkin' we could chat about the newest Tumblr making headline waves - 

The Hairy Leg Club. 

Link Here

 Made up of gals daring to bare their hairy pins, if you can call it daring? 

Do you reckon this is a move in the rigth direction or is it just a storm in a hairy teacup?

Were we all to point a lens at our pins right this second, would they look any different or are you fastidious when it comes to hair removal? 

Am I the only one that shaves to the shin for 3/4 length trousers? 

Let's Chat? 

The Wednesday Chattery - Is 3 Months Too Soon To Marry?

Hey, Wednesday, how's she cuttin'? 

Today I thought we could touch on a subject Mzzz Tweedy AKA Mrs Cole AKA Mrs Fernandez-Versini has raised by wedding her French beau just 3 months into their relationship. 

Now, far be it from me to dictate how long is long enough but honestly now, can you really know someone enough just 12 weeks after you've first met? 

(I've had head colds that lasted as long)

Be truthful now, 3 months into knowing your significant other, were you ready to be spliced? 

Or if you're single, do you really believe you could make a lifelong partnership based on just several weeks of pretending not to fart around each other? 

Is it just summer lovin'? It happened so fast...

Let's Chat!

The Tuesday Chattery - Teen Tatler Advises Teens to Flirt with Their Friends' Fathers !!

Good morning Tuesday, how be you then? 

Ready to get a little angry on behalf of gullible teens everywhere? 

Teen Tatler, a magazine I was unaware even existed up until last night has been dishing out advice to young girls as to how to get ahead in life. I'm hoping you haven't eaten before reading this as you're about to feel more than a little nauseated: 

Pic courtesy of +Poppy Dinsey 

'Think of it as essential homework for life. Hone your social-seduction techniques now and those same tools will serve you handsomely for ever.'

With the target audience for readers of this supplement being as young as 13, it's easy to see why this advice is ill advised to say the very least. Toxic to put a more fine point on it. 

Surely in 2014 we should be teaching our young girls to respect themselves enough to be polite to everyone and work for the perks in life they'd like. Maybe some advice on part time jobs or helping in the community not teaching them that sexualising relationships is the way to get ahead. Christ, it makes my skin crawl. 

Tell us, am I overreacting? 

Do you see any harm in giving such advice to young girls as though it were the norm? 

Let's Chat!

The Monday Chattery - Women Against Feminism - SRSLY?

Hey, Monday, you're looking fierce well altogether!

Today on The Chattery, I wanted to share somthing seriously disturbing - the new 

Women Against Feminism Tumblr.

Do please take a squizz and tell me what you think. I, for one, am deeply saddened to see so many women miss the point by such a huge and damaging margin. 

Surely not one of them have as much as read the very definition of feminism, never mind the teachings behind the movement. 

I'd love to know what you think - do displays like this make you weep for humanity too or do you think these girls might have a point? 

Let's Chat!

The Thursday Chattery - Drunk Ebaying - What Has Your Drunken Self Bought You?

Morning All, it would seem that peeps like to chat about The Chattery chats on the tweet machine as well as/instead of here so we'll keep on keepin' on, shall we? We shall. 

Chat du jour today is drunken Ebaying - do you do it? 

I try very, very hard not to yet more often than once in the past month alone I have groggily awoken to memories of holding one hand over one eye so I can count out my Verified by Visa combo on my fingers to make a purchase. 

That and the fact that Amazon One Click Purchase is the work of the Divil and needs to be stopped!

Now, to be fair, I'm not hugely complaining - drunken me always buys me awesome stuff, it's just that sober me can rarely afford the impromptu splurge. 

The most recent of which was these babies, while in Cardiff: 

Notice, if you will, all high end beauty then just a soupçon of piggery

So tell me - do you drunk ebay? What's the best/worst thing you've ever surprised yourself with? 

Let's Chat!

The Wednesday Chattery - Do MAC Collabs Tickle Your Pickle?

Hellooooo, Humpday!

We're chatting MAC today and collaborations in particular. This year has seen more than ever before with MAC Osbournes, Lorde , Proenza Schouler and revealed yesterday:

MAC Marge - Set to launch later this month at Comic Con

It would seem there's nobody that the cosmetics giant won't pair up with but, you know what? If it's decent product that doesn't cost a forch then I'm all for it. Especially the high end designer collabs - such a Prabal Gurung for November as revealed this week. 

My question is this, are you a MAC collab fan or 

do you bypass the gimmickery entirely and stick to the core collection? 

Let's Chat!

The Tuesday Chattery - Have You Had Enough Of Garth Brooks?

Hola and Happy Tuesday to you. Today we're chatting about something that you'd have to be living under a very large, sound proofed rock to have missed: Garth Jaysus Brooks. 

In what can only be described as an unprecedented phenomena, the world and it's fringed 

jacket wearing aunty lost its shizz when Garth Brooks concerts were announced earlier this year - tell me and tell me truthfully - did you buy tickets? If you did - WHY?!

Of course now we have the huge debacle about concerts not getting planning permission and po faced, piner, Brooks, releasing a statement to say we're crap and media gurners regurgitating it. 

Are you bereft at the loss of the gigs or do you, like me, think Gickball Brooks should be toed in the hole with one of his own steel tipped boots? 

Let's Chat!

Monday's Chattery - What Are You Grateful For?

Guess who's back, back again...

It would seem that, although not bursting at the seams with comments, that people are missing The Chattery! Apologies for the temporary suspension but I genuinely felt it wasn't to peoples' taste - I guess I was wrong. 

For the Monday that's in it, I'll start the chat off with a simple question - 

what's one thing you're grateful for today? 

You'll see five things I'm grateful for in just a little while as Monday's Moments go live but honestly, I can't tell you what just taking note of the little things each week has done for my equilibrium. 

It's easy to get caught up in the bigger picture, to always imagine your eyes on the prize and it's pretty hard just to take a moment and breathe. 

So tell us, what's making you happy today? 

Let's Chat!

The Thusday Chattery - A 3D Printer to Print Makeup? Is the Game Changing?

Morning peeps, how has the week been treating you so far?

I saw something really interesting yesterday, while it's still in prototype stages, there has been initials showings of a 3D printer that will print makeup!

The story was initially broken by Tech Crunch 2 days ago and you can read that article, with a full interview with inventor, Grace Choi here. 

What say we? Do you think this is something that will catch on? 

Would you buy printed makeup? 

Let's Chat!

The Tuesday Chattery - Do Snobby Sales Assistants Actually Boost Sales? Have Your Say!

Morning all and welcome back from the abyss that was a bank holiday weekend. Was yours lovely? 

Today I want to chat about something that has been cropping up all across meadia outlets since a new study by The Journal of Consumer Research was released last month and to be published this October. 

Apparently snooty sales assistants can BOOST sales when it comes to luxury products and services. 

Of course my reaction is: 

But just have a look at some of the anecdotal evidence to prove otherwise and tell me, if you're treated like rubbish in a high end store would you make a purchase? 

If you've been treated poorly by snotball sales assistants several times would you return to that counter? 

I have to tell you, while I'm sure Julia Robert's Pretty Woman got her thrills from returning with Dicky Gere's credit card to be maxed, there's no way and no how I'd be handing over my hard earned eurobux if the customer service isn't right. 

What do you think? 

Let's Chat!

The Bank Hollier Chattery

Morning All, as ever we're taking it free and breezy with today being a bank hollier. I'm busying myself taking blog pics, and scheduling the weeks posts as there's a bajillion things coming up again. 

How has your weekend been so far? 

Anything new or scandalous to share? 

Let's Chat!

The Thursday Chattery - Stars Join The White House in an Effort to Stop Sexual Assault

Hey, Happy May, everyone!

I was delighted to see this Public Service Announcement from the White House yesterday that heralds the start of their '1 is 2 Many' campaign against violence and sexual assault. 

The all male line up includes President Barack Obama, Vice President Joe Biden and actors Daniel Craig, Benicio Del Toro, Dulé Hill, Seth Meyers and Steve Carell in a 60 second video that encourages us, men in particular, to intervene when we see something wrong and for men to recognise when their actions are wrong too.

Del Toro himself says it explicitly "If she doesn't consent or can't consent, it's rape. It's assault.". This is something I was very conscious of bringing up two boys (now almost men). I think it's vital to educate boys from an early age about right and wrong when it comes to boundaries and respect. 

The numbers in this US campaign are staggering but in a similar study here in Ireland 'Say Something' by the USI last year, the numbers of sexual assault, reported and unreported are no less shocking. Again 1 is 2 Many. 

What do you make of this campaign? Does it go far enough? Would you like to see more? 

Let's Chat!

The Wednesday Chattery - What's Made You Happy This Month?

Midweek & the end of the month all rolled into one - can you believe it on either count? 

As is standard practice about these parts, we'll be talking today about our favourite products of the past 4 weeks - you'll have to wait another hour to see mine but what have yours been? 

Not necessarily just beauty, what's been your favourite bit of April, so far? 

What's made you happy this month? 

Let's Chat!